Sexeteria

Number Five: Valley Girl

Punk Hollywood boy meets suburban, popular Valley princess across a soundtrack of synthesized '80s New Wave and punk music. Yeah, it's cheesy. It's way low budget, it's a typical teen flick, the clothing styles are painful, and the plot line is relatively predictable--Romeo and Juliet meet Hollywood Boulevard and the Galleria. And yet, it's got this totally fresh, original feel to it, even so. Most teen films in the '80s revolved around the freak kids wishing they could become "popular." This film wasn't pushing for that. It was about learning to love the difference in the person you love--and discovering the similarities that can exist between people despite differences; crossing worlds in order to learn that there are no outsiders, unless all you're looking at IS the outside. If you take the time to understand what's inside someone, the labels no longer matter, and...well, "I stop the world and melt with you." (Sing it: Mmm, mmm, mmm...mmm, mmm, mmm, mmmm.)

Watching the two main characters, one mainstream and one alternative, figure out a way to navigate their attraction to each other amidst peer pressure from both sides is still adorable and totally heartening, even after all these years.

And plus, it sports the best angry breakup line ever: "Well fuck you, for sure, like totally!"

Number Four: Lost in Translation

I think the tag line they used to advertise this film basically says it all: "Everyone wants to be found." In this visually stunning film, two people who might normally never connect--an older, married, well-known actor and a young American girl living in Japan for the first time (with her rock 'n' roll photographer husband)--end up meeting during their stay in a Tokyo hotel. On the outside, both of their lives look as if they should be fresh and exciting. On the inside, they are both dissatisfied, and under their quiet exteriors are restlessly searching for meaning, and as we grow to see, for someone who "gets" them without their having to explain. That search for one's true soulmate...who can't relate to this? The film explores both the joy of finally finding that person, and the sadness of knowing one's life is on a course that won't really allow you to integrate that person into it on a permanent basis. And it's about the way desire and understanding can surpass the basic physicality of a more standard, everyday connection, and become something much more intense and life-altering.

Basically, to me, the film is about eternal love discovered within a limited amount of time. They meet, they understand, they feel deeply, and then they must separate physically...but it's clear they'll never be apart psychically.

And the last moment of the film is one of the most beautiful emotional things I've ever seen captured on screen. Something so small, it's just enormous in its impact. Makes me tear up and be hopeful at the same time, every single time I see it.

Plus, there's Elvis Costello karaoke, and you can never go wrong with that.

Number Three: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Words simply can not express how much I love this film. It's the most original exploration of both the positives and negatives love brings; the mistakes we make, the beautiful accidents we create, the things we wish we could take back or do over, the things we wish we could just wipe off the face of our memory.

I don't want to explain too much about the film, because it works so much better when you don't know all the unusual aspects of it. I'd want you to watch it as a fresh surprise. But all I'll say is it's not your average film. It's about love and memory, what sticks, what you want to remember, what you want to forget. It's about kindred spirits mixed with daily relationship grinds, and how (if?) the two can live together. And because of this, the film is complicated and strange, like memory like relationships--full of narrative ups and downs and odd twists and turns. A truly creative endeavor, and full of surprises--from the genius minds of Charlie Kaufman and Michel Gondry. How long has it been since you've seen a film where you truly can not predict what will happen next? This is one of them.

It's intensely moving. It'll make you think Jim Carey can really act. And Kate Winslet, oh my god, she's just a luminous goddess of Blue Ruin. They make the main characters's relationship--both the good and the bad--feel so honest and so REAL, you can't help wanting to run in there and make them feel happy together as long as they can.

And it has one of my all-time relatable relationship lines: "Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own piece of mind; don't assign me yours." When I heard that, I thought someone must have crawled inside my head and taken notes.

Number Two: Harold and Maude

Easily one of my favorite films of all time. This is not your typical love story. It was released in 1971, so if you haven't seen it yet, what the hell are you waiting for? It's still just as fresh and wonderful today. The plot: A dark, suicide-attempt obsessed young man (yes I did mean "suicide-attempt obsessed") meets a spirited, bohemian old woman who wants to be a sunflower, and love slowly blossoms. The world doesn't get them individually, and it doesn't get them together, either. But this is perhaps the lesson of the film, to "aim above morality," as Maude says at one point. It's a homage to individualism, the ability of souls to connect at any point in life and in any circumstance. And it's an affirmation of life, and of living it to its fullest and loving for as long and as well as you can. It's quirky, it's funny as hell, it's touching, it's got old ladies riding motorcycles, and it's got a great soundtrack. There is absolutely nothing negative I could find to say about this film. Everyone should see it, and then go out and "make an ass out of themselves from time to time." It's your right. Exercise it.

Number One: Trust

Take one pregnant cheerleader, abandoned by her asshole jock boyfriend. Add one angry, lonely, black trench-coated outsider. Mix well. Include dashes of psychotic parents, mindless employment, asshole bosses... and a hand grenade. What could develop but the most endearing, quirkiest, oddest love story of all time? I love everything about this film; it's indie sensibility, its pared down cinematography, its regional accents, its quirky humor, its intense emotion expressed in such controlled acting, its perfectly written, incredibly smart script:

Maria: He's dangerous but sincere.
Nurse: Sincerely dangerous.
Maria: No, he's dangerous *because* he's sincere.

I can't really explain the film better than that quote does; that pretty much says it all. It's about trying to be real, and to love someone honestly, in the face of a modern world that values appearance more than integrity or sincere emotion. It's about how just being your true self, and loving someone for her/his true self, can be a huge threat to others.

Dangerous, outsider misfit love with a hand grenade. What more could you want? Rent it; it's stunning.

Oh, I should mention that sadly, this film is only available on VHS in America. For some reason, all of Hal Hartley's (the director) films are out on DVD in America except "Trust." I'm not sure why. There have been DVDs of it released in France and Australia, but I don't think their DVD types fit American players. Still, even in VHS format, it's so incredibly worth it.

Also, in doing the research for this post, I was dismayed to discovered that just this month, the female lead of this beautiful film was just brutally murdered in her apartment building in New York. It's incredibly sad, and I am still a little stunned by the news. My heart goes out to her, and her family. If I could speak to them, I would tell them that her work in this film was spectacular and touching, and it made a difference in my life.

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Now it's your turn. Help me out. SWF in search of GOOD, smart, non-cliched love stories. Misfit characters preferred. Suggestions?