Sexeteria

Okay, well, as I was cruelly (*sob*) accused (heh) of being an emo girl last night, I thought I'd use today's post to deflate that impression. (Though I also want to point out "emo" didn't used to mean soppy, sad, depressed. It meant something cooler once.)

I realize I talk about serious things on the blog a lot, and I've got a black and red color scheme going on here (mostly because I can't find anyone to design me a new template) but in real life, I'm not all Sturm und Drang at all. If you knew me outside of my writing, which tends to come out more serious and dreamy for some reason, you'd know I don't appear emo and sad all the time. And anyway, trust me, my hourglass body doesn't work with those heroin-chic emo clothes at all, so if the uniform just won't fit...

But I am getting sidetracked. What I'm saying is, I started this blog during a very tumultuous year in my life. Lots of things needed to be worked on and evolved, and during this process I have been struggling and it hasn't always been happy. But the point IS, I'm doing this struggling not to express and revel in how oh-so-hard-life-is, but to actually get myself to happy. That's the goal. In my life, if I have ever had a stage where I am miserable, I have never had the goal to stay in that miserable place. I don't enjoy sadness. And I absolutely can not STAND morose inertia.

If you met me in real life, you'd see my vibe most days actually tends from the playful and laughing to the calm and soothing. I'm rarely walking around looking like the sky is falling. Sure, somedays of late I felt like that and I'm just pretending things are fine. But honestly, given the choice, I will always choose fun and good-craziness and laughter to sad, dramatic, tortured artist commiseration. A little of that goes a long way. And I'd also like to point out that being serious about something is not the same as being miserable about it. Nor that if one takes something seriously, one can't also be silly.

Anyway, I won't say I want to apologize for the blog not reflecting both sides of my personality accurately enough, or that it needs fixing--I just write whatever comes up for me at the time, and it simply is what it is. I tend to write more to help me unknot a problem than I do to just express when there are no problems. But I do hope some hints of the other parts of my personality come through here. And given that I do write whatever I'm thinking about at the time, and today I'm thinking about this topic, it seems this would be an excellent opportunity to write a deliberately positive-themed post.

So, without any further dilly-dallying, here is a spontaneously generated (and probably incomplete) list of things that make me instantly, completely happy. Most of them are things that'll result in a cheese-eating grin I can't wipe off my face, though a few are the kind that produce that glowy, secret inner-smile. If I could have a few of these each day, I would probably never be sad.

Believe it or not, I've been told far and wide that my smile is infectious and one of my greatest features. So, if you want to see it directed at you, do or give me one or more of the items below.

And when you're done reading, please do tell me what some of yours are, or if you share any of mine. Or, make your own list on your own blog, and let me know. It feels good to do. You'll like it. It's a nice alternative to the whole New Year's resolution thing. Don't focus on what you have to fix, but what is right with the world around you, right now, and that you can delight in any old day.

Things That Make Me Smile/Things that Make Me Laugh/Things That Make Me Joyous

Dancing (the kind you do, not watch)

Loud music in dark bars

Getting presents--especially the kind where you can tell the person really thought about who you are

Giving presents...

...And seeing people's faces light up when they open them

Randomly coming across that perfect thing that you didn't even know existed but that absolutely delights you, or that you know will absolutely delight another specific person you want to delight

My nephews whenever they laugh or smile

The ocean

The smell of the beach

Very good wordplay or thoughtplay or sexplay

Someone I like talking dirty to me

Baking...

...And the smell of anything baking

A rainy day, a comfortable bed or couch, a book, and curling up

Unsolicited expressions of affection or caring

Reciprocated expressions of affection or caring

The Onion, most days, when I remember to read it

Seeing someone I care about but haven't seen in a long time finally walking toward me

Seeing someone I care about but haven't seen in the last five minute walk back into the room

Genuine hugs

Being held by someone I love

Laughing so hard with someone over something that every time you stop and look at each other again, you have to crack up again

Being the only one who got the joke

Talking to a good friend for hours and not even noticing the time

Fucking a good friend for hours and not even noticing the time

Trying new food (the stranger, the better)

Traveling new places

Watching a great film

Trees and sunlight and water (the combination of all three is what works)

Smart comedians

The quote, "I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this." (Emo Philips)

Coming in after shoveling snow to fresh-off-the-griddle grilled cheese and hot Campbell's tomato soup

Orgasms (the smile happens after it finishes)

Street fairs

Farmer's markets

Kid logic

Writing something that feels whole and complete and good

Rereading something I wrote long after I wrote it and still thinking it's really good

Secret favorite spots

Discovering some funky, new place or thing...

...Sharing it with someone I know will appreciate it

Full-body massages

Back rubs

Foot rubs

Head scratches

Driving long distances with my favorite music blasting on the stereo

Having a moment where I remember to just stop and look at the open sky

Sunlight

Hearing a crowd sing along to a song at an arena concert

Hearing a movie theater full of people all laugh uproariously together or spontaneously break out into applause

The moment of anticipation when the lights dim at the movies or the theater just before something you've been dying to see starts

The smell of piles of leaves in the fall

The smell and exhilaration of feeling that first spring breeze

Seeing the first robin of the season

Geese (not ducks, not swans--just geese)

Baby geese

Unselfconscious eccentrics

People who randomly sing or do something playful or deliberately goofy in public

Resting my head on the shoulder or lap of someone I care about

Walking together, linking arms

Having someone I love unconsciously stroke my hair

The sound of my lover moaning in pleasure

Observing random, unexpected acts of kindness or connection take place

Outside on a cold evening, the smell of a wood-burning fire

Watching a campfire or fire in a fireplace

His mouth

His laugh

Waking up next to him, feeling his body against mine

What are yours?

---