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December 1, 2006

"Tossing the Salad"

And now, back to sex.

Today's topic, boys and girls: eating ass.

beware the un-freshly tossed salad

First and foremost, the question that really prompted this post and which I really want an answer to, but can find none:

Why the HELL is it called "tossing the salad?"

Other sexual nicknames tend to have some sort of obvious metaphorical quality to them. But this one, I just don't see it. Is the asshole supposed to be some kind of "bowl?" Okay, that's a stretch, but even if so, the metaphor still doesn't hold water, because you need TWO implements to toss something, and you only have one tongue. And "tossing" implies throwing something up in the air and it settling again, and that just isn't even remotely what's going on.

I'm sure I'm probably the only one who this bothers. But it drives me INSANE. What can I say, I'm a writer. Words are not frivolous! You don't just THROW words around. They need to be beautifully crafted. They should be used, ALWAYS, to make people think and see and sense and get friggin' aroused by them in some way or other. It gets me all riled up when people just assign words with no thought or reason to them. So can anyone explain this nickname to me? "Tossing the salad" arouses nothing! Not visually, sensually, intellectually...nothing.

I'd also like to point out that anilingus is a perfectly lovely word, that just rolls off the tongue, and even has a bit of Scottish brogue to it. Say it out loud with me a few times...anilingus....anilingus....aniliiiiingggggus. Ooooh. See? It sounds pretty. AND, conceptually, it makes perfect sense. There's anus, there's tongue, right there in front of you (or right there behind you, if you prefer). You could guess what it meant just by looking at the word. Perfect. Why don't people want to use it?

Of course, I have nothing against a more "clever" nickname. Humor arouses the senses and intellect just fine. But I just want a clever nickname that IS actually clever. It's got to make sense, dammit!

I'm worried now I'm missing something entirely obvious, and someone's going to write in with an explanation about the term that is so basic it's going to make me feel stupid, but, oh well. While I wait for someone out there to enlighten me as to what entirely evident thing I'm missing that makes "tossing the salad" a relevant euphemism, I'd like to suggest some better "clever" nicknames for the act:

  • Working in a coal mine
  • Bottom feeding
  • Moria spelunking
  • Seal in the chunnel
  • Spacklering the gopher hole (100 points if you get this reference)

Yes, all those were entirely invented by me, so credit me if you use them. Nothing would please me more than to be known as the mother of all "seal in the chunnel" references.

While we're talking nicknames, Wikipedia lists one (via the Urban Dictionary) that I rather like: "The Black Kiss." Mmm. That sounds just lovely--takes all the squeamishness out of the concept. Makes it all romantic sounding, with a touch of evil inserted. Just the way I like it. AND the term makes sense metaphorically and is far more accurate in concept than "tossing a salad."

Now, while we're on the topic, I figure I might as well point you in the direction of some interesting information on the actual activity, and lay out some thoughts and questions of my own related to that. Bum rush (ahem) the cut link below to probe more deeply into all things anilingual.

Now, I'll be honest here: in the past, I've never been much of a backdoor girl. It's not I've never been curious, but oddly it never really came up much. Most of my partners didn't seem particularly interested in playing down that way, even when I asked about it. Which makes me bring up another question: Is it more myth than reality that all men are dying for anal play? That's been my experience overall.

Anyway, that was always more or less fine with me. But you know, things can change. And knowledge is always a good thing in any case. So. While musing over the apparent nonsensicality of the phrase "tossing the salad" and trying to look up its origin, I came across a good overall information site and felt I should share.

Yes, it seems some kind soul (the self-proclaimed "Ass Master") has registered a url and devoted himself entirely to educating others on the fine art of anilingus. I give you toss-my-salad.com, the "gourmet guide to analingus [sic]." Okay, he spelled anilingus wrong in his banner, but don't let that deter you. A lot of valuable, easy to read, and humorously worded advice here. (Obviously, the link is NSFW.)

He includes a lot of important information about potential disease transmission and prevention tips, which will help you going in (heh). Even if you've already been practicing the act, it might not be a bad idea to brush up on these tips. For instance, did you know about the anti-bacterial benefits of a hydrogen peroxide 'n' water mouthwash?

Along with that, he also give a variety of techniques and tips to keep the act interesting, diverse, and at its most intensely pleasurable. Of particular interest to me was his list of suggested positions (suggestions both at that link and throughout other pages of the site, as well). For one, I hadn't imagined up so many on my own. And second, in my opinion, some of them sound so hot they might to make anyone with even some hesitation want to jump in and start trying it. This one, for instance, though complicated, made me want to grab someone and see what it felt like right now. Note: this advice was addressed to a man who wrote in, so that's why it's worded as such.

Lay down on your back, then have her lay down the opposite way, tits up, on top of you. She'll be resting her butt on your face and the back of her head in your crotch. As you bury your tongue in her ass, reach up with both arms and fondle her nipples. Continue squeezing and teasing those nipples while you slather her ass with sweeping circles of your tongue.

Now for the tricky part: Wrap your arms firmly around her stomach and roll over. Resting your weight on your knees, pull her up onto her knees so that her face is on the mattress and her butt is elevated. With your chest pressed against her lower back, drop your face back down between her cheeks and resume eating. As your tongue tantalizes her hole, move your hands up to play with her clit.

Practice the roll-over a few times and you should be able to do it without ever having to remove your tongue from her ass.

Come on, you gotta admit that sounds DAMN hot in concept, even if you're not into anal play. By the way, that suggestion wasn't actually in the positions section, but in the "questions from men" section, related to a question about a position that's would not involve crouching on the man's part.

Okay, so who wants to try that? How about with me? Like, NOW?

The one thing that doesn't make sense to me, however, is that the Ass Master advocates ALWAYS using a barrier for safe salad tossing, such as a dental dam or a cut, unlubricated condom (with lube added to the underside that's touching your partner). Yet, it appears to me that many of his position suggestions make it sound entirely difficult for that barrier to be held down. I mean, just look at the example above. Who's holding down the Dental Dam if he's got his hands on her tits? Is she holding in place with her hands, while spreading her cheeks, as suggested somewhere else on the site (the spreading, not holding the barrier)? That sounds really acrobatic to accomplish. How can one spread one's ass cheeks AND hold a barrier in place? Ideas?

Suggesting one needs to always have a barrier and then suggesting positions that seem difficult to do that in, without explanation as to how to accomplish it, seems a bit irresponsible. I hope he fixes this in future.

So, let us review questions to answer in this post:

1. Why is it called "tossing the salad?"
2. What better nicknames could you invent for the activity?
3. Is the male anal fixation more myth than reality?
4. Who thinks that position described above sounds hot besides me?
5. How does one secure a barrier for safe anilingus considering the complexity of some of the suggested positions?

Answer any or all. And hey...anything else you want to say on the topic? Tips to share? Votes against the activity? For it? Get your tongues wagging on the subject.

Comments (30)

Mu Ling said:

Am I completely innocent? Have I been hiding in my underground bunker for the last ten years? Until this moment, I would have said that the answer to these questions was a ringing, clear, "No!" but I now must wonder. I have never heard this expression, "tossing the salad." I'm in my mid-thirties, have slept around, well, rather a lot, and have watched a really sad amount of porn. Never heard it. News to me. Huh.

It's an amazing world, isn't it? One wakes up in the morning and is never sure what one might discover that day.

Most of the men with whom I have had sex never expressed any interest in my ass at all. So I do think that the "male anal fixation" (such a phrase) is more myth than reality. Or maybe they just thought that a girl who didn't even know what "tossing the salad" meant was not going to be able to get it on down there, and so never brought it up again.

Cool post.

Cherrie said:

Tossing the salad? Have I been living under a rock the past ten years? To me, this activity is "rimming" or "going around the world" (actually, that's starting out in front and ending up in the rear). I've never heard of this term! And I have no idea how it got started. Hopefully, if you have already digested the salad, it won't appear at this end to be tossed!

We do this, but rarely, and only if we are both clean, because you can spread some nasty bacteria if you are not careful. We have some very strong mouthwash, too, in the event we get concerned.

That said, it can be fun, and I'd be tempted to give you a bit of instruction, but I know you've told me several times that you're into men . . .

Sara no H. said:

Yeah, I didn't know it was called "tossing the salad" until tonight's rehearsal, when I confused it with "toss the cookies" and was a little humiliated to learn the egregious nature of my error.

"The Black Kiss" sounds good to me, though. It's so much more poetic.

Mel said:

Hmmm... I've heard the term "tossing the salad" around, but innocent little me always figured it meant male masturbation.

Oh, and here's a big hello from BlogStormz!.

xxx

Miss Syl added:

Mu Ling: I think it's a relatively newish term, maybe over the last decade or so. I don't know where the origins of it came from--porn or elsewhere, but it seemed to start cropping up around the same time I kept hearing the term "Dirty Sanchez." It probably does have origins in porn, but who knows.

Are you saying you've never heard of the act, or the term?

Cherrie: Yeah, I've mostly ever heard it called "rimming" before this, and at least until recently, the activity seemed to primarily be brought up far more often in reference to gay male sex than any other kind. This left me, as a younger woman, assuming it was something men liked, but women didn't have the same sensation for (that men's anuses had more nerve endings or something). This was not based on fact, but just deduction and assumptions about the prostate. Somewhere along the line, it seems to have branched out, though, and seems to have become more accepted as a hetero activity on both sides.

And yes, I like men...but I still like getting offers from women nonetheless. :)

Sara no H: Ha. Those public gaffes are priceless. Don't be too embarrassed. Think of all the amusement you put out into the world. People need to laugh more.

Mel: Hiya, Blogstormz girl! Well, now ya know. :)

Hm, maybe this term isn't as widely used as I thought. I hear it all the time now...

aag said:

Ok, tossing the salad is cute, and I have heard it many times before, but what are y'all thinking that The Black Kiss sounds good?

The Black Kiss sounds dreadful to me.

Just one person's opinion...

Miss Syl added:

AAG: But WHY is it cute? Do you get the reason for it?

Hm, for someone who's a recent ass play convert, I thought the "black kiss" would sound rather appealing. Just shows you never know...

Any suggestions for a better nickname?

aag said:

I dunno; it's just cute to me.

It's not appealing! And I'm not easy to gross out! I just have this image of doing...that...and then coming up for a kiss with blackened lips!

Eeeek!

Notcarrie said:

I always thought of this during the theme song for Frasier. Ew.

Elvis said:

black kiss? You goth you.

1) I haven't a clue but i think it's a jailhouse term. That's the context I first heard it in.

2) Who needs nicknames? "I want to lick your ass" has always worked just fine for me.

3) It's under-stated in *my* case of course, but i think it's just seen as a prize. It's what you ask the girl for when she says 'i'll give you anything'. It's reached that sort of status. So it's not a fixation, more of a point to be scored.

4) as described, it sounds difficult and awkward, but hot if it works. I'd *love* to try it though.

5) you're right, unless your dental dam is secured with some sorta sticky stuff, that would be difficult. But honestly, if I don't want to be sharing bodily fluids with you, i'm not sure i want my tongue in your ass. Tasting is too much of the experience. Damned safety issues fuck things up, don't they?

ArtfulDodger said:

Miss Syl, sorry I missed this the other day. The Urban Dictionary has this to say:

The act of licking a partners anus and it's surrounding areas. The term draws a parallel to tossing a regular vegetable salad, where all the comtents of the slad are mixed around with salad tongs. In the sexual variety, the reciever of the "tossing" has all the contents of the anus (hairs, lint, dingleberries) mixed around by the partners tongue, which provides moisture (dressing)and essentially serves as human tongs.

As always, I'm only here to help. :) Love ya.

Miss Syl added:

AAG: I dare you to read Art's description and then still call it cute and appealing. :-P

The black kiss sounds way better than THAT.

NotCarrie: Bwahahaha. First I was like, "What the hell?" And then I thought, "Oh yeaaaahhh." I'm afraid to know what act "scrambled eggs" is a euphemism for.

Karl Elvis: You can take the girl out of the goth, but...

I dunno, I can think of other acts that seem more extreme than that. But if that's the conceptual benchmark...

Damned safety issues fuck things up, don't they?

Eh, not as much as certain STDs can fuck things up.

Art: Leave it to you. Well, I read your comment this morning before breakfast and then didn't want any afterwards. Lint? Dingleberries? EWW.

Though I still maintain "tossing" wouldn't be the appropriate term, even for that. It would be "dressing" the salad, wouldn't it?

And love ya back.

Linda said:

There may have been an old expression, "Toss the salad, pour the wine, and cut the cheese!" I have no idea if they are referring to making a gourmet meal or the proper order of the more intimate and genital-based sex acts. I thought "toss the salad" might refer to cunnilingus? After all, there's definitely a cherry, a tomato, and lots of fluffy stuff around that area. A penis is a lot like a cucumber or a good, solid dildo-sized zucchinni. Hmmm.... I think that "tossed salad" would go very well with a coupla shots of vinegar, a few croutons, and of course some cut-up cheese. Do not forget the bean sprouts or carrot curls!

Miss Syl added:

Linda: For some reason your comment really made me giggle. You've thought so hard about this! Anyway, where I grew up "cutting the cheese" meant farting, which really wouldn't be too pleasant during sex. Unless it's a fetish thing for that particular person who invented that expression. Heh.

FactWino said:

The Urban Dictionary entry sounds apocryphal to me, like it was made up after the fact. I first heard it in relation to men in prison using jelly packets from the cafeteria to make the task less distasteful. I did not pursue that conversation further, but it was with a guy who had done some time. I don't know how jelly relates to salad.

I enjoy the practice, but my wife has to be in the right mood, so we don't do it often.

Anonymous said:

I recently had an affair which ended, quickly followed by the salad-toss recipient getting a hospitalizing internal infection due to bacterial transmission, even though we were being reasonably careful (no mouthwash though). Never happened before, but no fun. So I think the safety concerns are worth being cautious about.

Anonymous said:

A writer should be able to spell "tongue".

Miss Syl added:

FactWino: Yeah, I don't get what jelly would have to do with it, either. The whole thing is a mystery. Maybe they used salad dressing instead of jelly? It DOES have oil in it...

Anonymous the first: Yikes. Thanks for the info. Which just goes to show, the "Ass Master" is right--safety first is always important when it comes to anilingus.

Anonymous the second: And a commenter should be able to figure out seven correct spellings out of eight indicates a typo and not an inability to spell. Address the content, or don't waste my time. Kisses.

JC said:

"Spacklering the Gopher Hole"
Sweet Caddyshack reference. Ty would be proud. Nanananana...

Mu Ling said:

Oh, I'm familiar with the act. Just not the term. I'm amused to notice a slight buzz of anxiety in myself at the thought that you might think I'd never heard of the act. Must...not...appear...to be...sexually...ignorant....

For what it's worth, I too think the Black Kiss sounds rather dreadful.

fire said:

Tossing the salad is a relatively new one for me too. My then girlfriend (now wife) kinda insisted on it when we were fooling around. Even before he had sex! well after we had oral(vaginal) sex though. But I never knew it was called tossing the salad. I would have a hard time tossing any regular salad after that.
My wife just says "Lick my ass" or "rimm me lover boy" or her recent favourite "Make me feel beautiful" I dont know how that equates but she is referring me to licking her ass.
It is an acquired liking ( see... I avoided taste)and she does have a round butt.
She wont return the favour but I am ok with that.

London Guy said:

I like fire's comment about his wife saying "make me feel beautiful" when she wants to have her ass licked. i have found that most women very much enjoy the sensation of it but also there's the emotional aspect of being worshipped and pleasured in this way that they like. it makes them feel beautiful and gorgeous, like a princess. it's a win-win situation because i really enjoy doing it and its a definite part of my repertoire. my first desire is to kiss and caress a woman and get her naked. my next desire is to lick her asshole while stroking her breasts and belly, then to lick and suck her pussy for a long long time, and then have intercourse with lots of kissing.

fire said:

London Guy
I am no medical expert but that moving from asshole to pussy sounds extremely dangerous to me. My wife (In spite of the pervert that she is) always insists that I get done with her pussy before moving to her asshole and dont come back to her pussy. A few germs introduced in her pussy can cause UTI or Pelvic inflammatory disease.


Aiden said:

I think the name came from the action involved. Kind of like the "rusty trombone" I have always known it to be "rimming" myself but I believe that was just the action of licking the ass. "Salad Tossing" begins and ends with purpose of making the other person cum while licking the ass and either stroking his cock or fingering her clit.

Now...in bed I certainly don't say...hun...could you toss my salad tonight? Ha! I will make it known way before hopping into bed.

Do men like anal? You bet! And if they haven't tried it then they are missing out on a whole other world of pleasure in both giving and receiving anal play. I was taught early about anal play and have had a strong passion for it ever since.

I think if you just be clean before anal play is the best. Both people should shower before a sexual encounter and what a great way to get warmed up before fucking your brains out. Enemas can be used also to cleanse, but that is not always possible. Although that can also be a whole other topic of pleasure.

The above position described sounds extremely hot and I will have to definitely add that one to my list of "must try"!!! Both for me and my partners.

Also, anyone that is thinking about anal sex or has tried it and found it too painful, try a muscle relaxer. This should help until you are able to open up easier for penetration.

anon said:

The term toss the salad was made popular by the comedian Chris Rock. He used it in a stand up routine that was on HBO in the early 90's. I don't know if he invented the term, but in the bit he says that a former prison inmate would put jelly on his ass and have his new cellmate lick it off, as a nice welcome to prison, lol. I personally enjoy giving and receiving, but it's pretty rare because the wife has to be in a very dirty mood.

OK Here Goes said:

This is one of my favorite activities. I adore women and nothing seems more sensual and feminine than a gorgeous round female ass. She has to have a nice bottom though; flat simply won't do. As for the safety aspect, I admit I've never been worried about it. Now I'm not talking about unwiped here but, frankly, an ass should smell/taste like an ass -- that's part of the enjoyment! I admit that this activity makes me feel submissive and that's a huge part of why I like it. I find that just like cunnilingus, it works best when you start with lots of kissing. When your lips get wet while kissing her pussy--without opening your mouth--then you know she's ready for more soulful kissing, then deep penetrating french kisses, and finally licking, both front and back... OK, I'm getting hot here! LOL

Tony said:

To add another question: Why the Hell "syrup or honey"??? Friends of mine tricked me into this by asking the question: "how do you prefer to toss the salad, with honey or syrup?" I innocently answered that I prefer honey, and they all cracked up laughing. The correct answer was apparently syrup... Doh!
Anyway tossing doesn't sound as much fun as fisting.... mmmmm better give one of those!
Take care,
Tony

Debbie said:

How about renaming it the hershey kiss?

Miss Syl added:

Heh. I like that, Debbie.

BD said:

I too just found out what "Tossing Salad" meant. Strange term for a delightful experience. I fall in the category of the male anal fixation. I love a sweet girls ass. When I was younger (38 now) there was nothing better than alternating between vaginal and anal loving I had a 50/50 average of girlfreinds who would try it. (of course I wanted those that would all the more) There is something wonderful and highly erotic about sticking your tongue as far up her "gopher Hole" as possible. The scent and taste is a bit harsh but only on the first good lick or two. Once you get enough saliva mixed in it's great. A girls tight bum is heaven for me. I wish more girls would be "into it"

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