Sexeteria

Not normally like me to write a complete miscellanea post, but here I go defying convention again.

1) I think this is total genius:

visit the site of total genius

(thanks, schmutzie, for the find)

2) Why do I find myself annoyed by the fact that I was NOT rejected by eHarmony?

And no, I don't have a profile on there. I took the personality profile to see what it would say, and stayed on for a few days to see what kinds of matches they'd send me. Despite me saying I had no kids, was not interested in having kids, and did not want to date anyone with kids, they consistently sent me matches from guys who were either divorced with young kids or guys who said their primary objective in life was settling down and starting a family. So I killed it. Much as I suspected, it seems to be a highly "traditional values" oriented site. So again, if my requirements don't fit their membership, why wasn't I rejected? I guess I'm just too damn good for anyone to pass up.

3) I also think this test is total genius (sound required):

How good were you at it? Oh, and in case you're interested, here's what it's really about.

4) I am deep in the midst of celebrating Discardia (mo' better detail here).

I mean, deep, deep in, man. And it feels gooooood. I may stay here for a few weeks at least.

5) Of all the things I am discarding...

...I sometimes think bitterness and questioning of self-worth over bad--or indifferent--treatment by men from past relationships is going to be one of the hardest things to discard. I keep thinking I'm done, and then another small thing comes along to trigger it again. Why the hell have I gone in for so many men who often seemed to have the capacity to treat total strangers with more affection than they treated me? No more, I say. The only way I think I'm going to be able to discard feeling bad over seeing that pattern repeated in front of my face over and over again is to 1) stop the perverse compulsion of wanting people who have long ago proved they don't care that much about me to finally come around and care that much about me (even when I don't necessarily want THEM anymore) and 2) find some guys who will spoil the hell out of me the way I deserve to be spoiled.

You know, I used to think that the fact that I didn't get spoiled and treated like something super special meant that was about all I deserved. I thought, "if I deserved more, people would give it to me." I think that logic's maybe a little twisted. They guy's behavior doesn't say shit about me and what I deserve and how worthy/desireable I am. Only I can define that. All it says is what HE's about and how worthy/desireable I should find HIM. Which is not much if I'm not getting much adoration. Yeah, I rock in bed. Yeah, there's more to me than that. I am not a fucking convenience. That's all I have to say about that.

6) I had a great day at work today.

Doing work that will help, hopefully, change the world for the better. And that's a good thing. Did some good work today, quick and dirty and still good, which felt satisfying. Got told by numerous people they were glad I was around, and that my presence has made a huge positive difference. That felt great. Thought up things that resulted in people's eyes widening with "I could have NEVER come up with that" wonder. And got to invent something that embodies a message I really believe in.

I'm also happy because I seem to have, with all the work I've been doing on myself, been able to develop a bubble of zen contentment around the workplace. It's crazy hectic, there are some really disillusioned people, there is some dysfunction due to this, and yet...it all seems to slide off me and I walk around happy and cheerful. Not saying I don't have my moments, but I'm talking about the majority of the time. I like this. I feel strong.

7) I'm doing conveyor belt sushi tomorrow.

Is there anything better than a continuous sushi loop?

So how was your day? Whats up wi'chu?