Colonel Tom Parker and the Animal Kingdom
"Well, I should probably go," I say. "I'm pretty tired."
"Yeah," he says. "You got up so early this morning. You should really get to bed."
"Well, I'm already in bed," I say, with an almost imperceptible pause before continuing to let it sink in, "But I should really get to sleep."
He thinks for a split second, then continues. "Yeah, you know, I'm pretty wiped out, too. Maybe I should turn in early."
"See, I'm sending you my bed vibes." Another barely-a-pause. "You're getting slee..."
"Whoa." He isn't going to let it pass a second time.
"Hm?"
"Watch it now."
"Hmm?" vocal equivalent of eyebrows raised.
"Bed vibes. You could be getting into dangerous territory with that."
"Ohhh," I say. I laugh, just a little. For a split second I let my voice change to vampy; but I ice it with a dusting of innocent. "But see, but it couldn't possibly have been deliberate."
"No?" His voice is treading a line; something has stirred up, but he's not sure what. He doesn't know which way to go. Does she mean that literally, or is she taunting me? Should I push it? Or will I totally blow it if I push it?
"No. Because I'm so not like that." I keep it unclear. The delivery might be sarcastic, might be earnest. I don't explain further. I don't hand feed him. I dangle it in front of him, tempting him. I wait to see if he comes after it. If he wants to feed.
I Iove that moment. How it suspends in time, and you never know what he will...
He decides to err on the side of taking it literally.
"Well, that's a shame," he says, with the sound of both resignation and desire there. I can hear a slight confusion, a hope I'll give him a sign. Did I just imagine that? For a split second she'd sounded so...
He waits.
"Mmm, yes," I say, my voice going languorous and sleepy. "It is." In my bed, in the dark, my body arches with delight. I feel like a cat, and he's my mouse. He doesn't know. "So, thanks for the conversation, then," I say. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight..." He pauses, still waiting, hoping.
I hang up. I smile to myself with pleasure. I fall asleep smiling, my body purring.
Foolish man. I am SO like that.
Mice are sweet, but they're not my species. I play with lions.